"We
should certainly, if we were a lady, take the side of our fair
correspondent, even at the risk of being called prudish also. We have so
often seen wives secretly pained by these so-called innocent
familiarities, on the part of their husbands toward young ladies, that
we do not hesitate to say that no man of refined feelings will ever be
guilty of such romping again, if he once seriously thinks about the
subject. How would he like, for instance, to see his wife kissing all
the handsome young men that came to the house, and then defending the
act by saying that cousinship, or a close intimacy, warranted the
freedom?"
"We
know a very estimable gentleman, a pattern father and husband, an
eminently useful member of society, who invariably makes all young
ladies visiting at his house, kiss him morning and evening. Now, if he
was thirty years older, with a silver head of hair, this, perhaps, might
be well enough. But, though he means no harm by it, and pretends it is
only a fatherly custom, the young gentlemen, who are admirers of his
fair guests, never see him take these familiarities without wincing? Is
it right for him-- putting everything else aside-- to hurt the feelings
of a lover in this way? We are sure he never thought of the subject in
this light, or he is too good-hearted to have persisted in this
practice. Nor do his fair guests altogether like his conduct. But what
can they do? It seems so small a matter, this being kissed by the father
of their schoolmate, that they dare not take offence at it. Half of
their own sex, they know, would call them silly, if they resented it. So
they submit, and their example makes others submit, and so it goes on to
the end of the chapter."
 "Whatever
thus hurts the feelings of a wife, or secretly angers a lover, or annoys
a young lady, cannot be well-bred. Everywhere, in the United States--
and very properly-- kissing is regarded as more or less sacred. No man
likes to see another man kiss his wife, unless that man be her father. A
husband, or even lover, has the same objection to beholding another man
put his arm around the waist of his wife, or his betrothed, unless in
the waltz; and many husbands and lovers, in spite of fashion, dislike
this also, and we think dislike it very properly. Why should not a woman
be hurt at such familiarities, bestowed, by her husband or lover on
another woman? Is the female heart less sensitive than a man's? Real
politeness, if we know what it is, seeks to spare other's feelings. How
can there be any doubt, therefore, that such familiarities are
ill-bred?"
"The
rule would be different in countries like Russia, where kissing is as
common as hand-shakings is with us. Our English ancestors, in Henry the
Eighth's time, kissed on meeting and parting, however slight the
acquaintance. But, in modern time, and in this country, kissing between
sexes has become a proof of special endearment, rather than a mode of
ordinary salutation; and being as such, it is, strictly speaking, not
proper except between husband and wife, brother and sister, father and
daughter, lover and betrothed. We give the same verdict as to all
similar familiarities. To refuse them is neither prudish nor ill-bred,
even if you are a guest; and no real gentleman will contradict us, after
he has seriously thought about the matter." |
